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They
say that 'Laughter is the Best Medicine' and Jazzy thinks that they are
right....that's why this NEW Jokes page with some funny gems from around
the world to tickle your funny bone. Of course, the jokes will be changed
and added from time to time so that you can keep on laughing.....so, Read
on and Enjoy !! Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte. Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB. Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down. Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy. Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there. HBO virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week. Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them to the authorities. Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused search of a specific file into a global interregation of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated data. Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results. Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to really do much of anything. Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs. Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're really enjoying it. Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone. X-files virus: All your Icons start shape shifting. Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop. AT&T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop...even your heart! A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs. People Do Not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. Only 7% of the population are lefties. 40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines. The toothbrush was invented in 1498. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened. The average housefly lives for one month. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie". The real reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot. Among the music catalogues that Michael Jackson owns the rights to is the South Carolina State anthem. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint & a little thinner is used in place of the milk. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green. I wonder if these things are true - especially the Green Coke! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor,
Doctor Jokes Doctor, Doctor, everyone
keeps ignoring me. Doctor, Doctor
I keep thinking there is two of me. Doctor, Doctor I keep
thinking I’m invisible. Doctor, Doctor
My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film! Doctor, Doctor I’ve
lost my memory! Doctor, Doctor, I feel
like a pack of cards. Doctor, Doctor
my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Doctor, Doctor I've
broke my arm in two places. Doctor Doctor
I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar. Doctor, doctor
my baby's swallowed a bullet. Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a rubber band. Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a sheep. Doctor: You
seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a dog. Doctor, Doctor
I keep thinking I'm God Doctor, Doctor
I think I need glasses. Doctor, Doctor
I've got wind! Can you give me something? Doctor, Doctor
Have you got something for a bad headache? Doctor, Doctor
Can I have second opinion? Doctor, Doctor
I keep seeing double. Doctor: You
need new glasses. Doctor, Doctor
I'm having trouble with my breathing. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
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